Once a week my hometown newspaper, the Greeley Tribune, puts together what they call their Crime Log. Basically they find the weirdest sh** that the cops encountered, and believe me there is a lot, in the town over the previous week. Some weeks are better than others, but I must say this week was the best yet, mostly because my favorite bum finally made the paper! 

If you know Greeley, then you know that 11th Ave. by the college isn't the "nicest" of all areas in town, so you sort of expect to see a weird thing or two if you venture there. Well a couple times I have now. The first time I saw this woman I was driving, and thought I saw her lift her shirt from the corner of my eye, but kind of blew it off because I didnt see it well. Then later that day I drove down 11th again, this time towards the old lady, and sure enough... Shirt went up, boobs went down. And then this from the Tribune:

Dec. 29, 9:59 a.m.: A 65-year-old was reportedly looking into vehicles parked in the 500 block of 11th Avenue. The caller said the woman was panhandling by the gas pumps and kept flashing her “boobs” at passersby.

Now think about it, you want to hit the streets to make a buck or two. You could think of a clever saying to put on a sign, you could put a sad kid or dog next to you, or you could even just stand there and hope people give you money. You might make a few bucks, but start showing your private parts, and I assume your chances triple (even if you're 65 years old). Sure, you might get the cops called on you, but I think it's worth it! This could become "the thing" to see in Greeley! Every town has their own landmark, maybe Greeley will too have one of their own now.

Some of the other Crime Log highlights this week included:

A caller notified police that a 14-year-old boy had locked himself in the bathroom because he had just gotten his phone and Xbox taken away. The caller said police could respond if they wanted to.


A caller reported people “ding dong ditching” his house. The caller wanted police to investigate.


A man called police to report that his wife was running around town and coming in late each night. He said she came home around 8 p.m. that night.


A male was reported dancing on top of the Lincoln Park Gazebo.


See all of the Crime Log here.