Butch’s Dilemma – 4 Month Update
When I get into my studio to do a radio show, it's time to shut off the personal emotions, the problems I may be facing, and any any other sort of negativity that may bring me down. My show is about entertaining, and everyone has enough problems on their own than to want to hear me cry about mine on the radio. Still, I am facing the biggest challenge of my life, and my friends, family, and the Loudwire family have helped me get through. Today marks four months, and here is an update.
They say that time heals all wounds, and I see that is true in a way, but also extremely far off in another way. When my kids were first taken from me, there wasn't a soul who I called my friend who wasn't there waiting for me with a hug, a phone call or a word of advise. Now, four months have gone by, and there is still great support, but as time has went on it's almost as though those who aren't close to the situation have let it go. It's not new, it's old news, and options on ways to help are more scarce. Just remember, that those words of encouragement mean everything to me, and they are what keeps me fighting. On the other hand, time doesn't heal all wounds, it almost makes them sting worse. After a few weeks I thought this predicament would be over soon, so I didn't hurt as bad. Now after a third of a year I am realizing more and more how much valuable time I am missing out on. It's time that you can't buy back, and it's not over. This could go on longer, and it hurts more and more knowing everyday that the two things that mean the most in this world to me are unavailable.
You may ask how this can happen, how can someone take your kids and hide... Well, I ask the same thing regularly. I made some mistakes with documents that should have been taken care of a long time ago, and weren't, and it has cost me a lot of rights. It just infuriates me that someone can get away with such a thing. There are so many dads in this world who are deadbeats and want nothing to do with their kids. All I want is mine, and the system is allowing them to be hidden, and there is nothing I can do. Trust me, I would work with legal advice by my side every day to try and figure out the best solution to the issue at hand, and eventually we will figure out a way to find the kids, go to court, and handle the situation the way it should have been handled from the get go.
Until then I stare at pictures, I have trouble watching cartoons on tv, cry during certain songs, and pray all the time that they are simply thinking of their daddy.
The beard that I promised I would keep until I found the kids was getting to a point that even the guys from ZZ Top would have frowned upon, so I was forced to shave it a bit so i wouldn't scare the people away at my radio appearances, but it's still there, just in a cleaner more presentable fashion.
Since I last wrote about the situation I have missed my daughters 5th birthday, I missed Fathers Day, the 4th of July, and reading bedtime stories every night like I used to do. I will continue to miss important events, but I must carry on.
The only reason that I am able to get out of bed everyday is because I have been blessed with a great job and an even better support system. I know how many people care about this situation, how many prayers are sent out each night, and how many people have taken the time to reach out and try to help. That is flattering. It won't be forgotten, and if this horrible situation has taught me anything, it is how amazing so many people can be. Just when you start to lose faith in humanity, it never fails that someone will step up and restore it, and make you feel so incredible.
I am sure you are as tired of hearing about this as I am tired of writing about it, and I promise when I find my kids that I will never complain again, but until then this is my way of getting it off my chest. Along with all the love and support, I deeply appreciate you letting me vent in this fashion, and following the story.
From the bottom of my heart I cherish every single one of you who has taken the time to read this. Trust me, I could not handle this situation without the love you have shown. Thank you!
In case you missed it, here is an original song my good friend Romero and I put together about a month and a half ago for my daughters birthday. It is very special to me, and I hope you have had a chance to hear it...