Check out some of the interesting calls that the Greeley-Evans Police responded to between February 12 and February 18, 2016. You really can’t make this stuff up

Friday, February 12

1 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 100 block of north 9th Avenue on a report of a drunk man passed out in front of a house. The caller said the man was fine; it’s just a regular problem.

1:45 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 6600 block of 3rd Street on a report of a couple of people making out for an hour.

4 p.m.: Greeley police were called to the 1400 block of 9th Street when a child called from a pay phone and said, “someone died at Mexico” and hung up. No one answered when the number was called back.

4 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1600 block of 6th Avenue because a mother wouldn’t return car keys or a laptop to her daughter.

4:30 p.m. Greeley police were called to a park near 31st Avenue and 6th Street on a report of 40 kids engaged in two fights at the park. The caller said a gaggle of kids scattered everywhere when the cops came by.

8:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2700 block of 10th Street on a report of a woman taunting someone to come outside and beat her butt.

11:45 p.m.: Greeley police were called to the 1200 block of 30th Street Road on a report of a man’s wife who took his car and wouldn’t return it.

Saturday, February 13

12:45 p.m.: Greeley police were called to the 2300 block of 10th Street because a woman was worried she wouldn’t be able to take care of some rabbits.

4:45 p.m. Greeley police responded to the 2600 block of 1st Street on a report of a 9-year-old girl whose parents couldn’t handle her. The caller said they’re tired of chasing their daughter and want police officers to help them.

9:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a fast food restaurant on the 2400 block of 8th Avenue on a report of a drunk woman selling meth in front of the caller’s kids. The caller hung up immediately after making the report and then called back saying, “there is an (expletive) woman with meth in her pocket, god (expletive) meth in her pocket.”

Sunday, February 14

12:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 500 block of 9th Avenue on a report of a neighbor putting a knife on the caller’s door as a threat. The caller admitted it was a plastic knife in the letter holder, but felt it was placed very deliberately.

6:15 p.m.: Greeley police were called to the 2800 block of 10th Street on a report of counterfeit money. The caller was told some of his bills were counterfeit and he wanted to know if he could get them changed for real cash, or if he was out the money. He said it was “all because of Obama,” that he had fake money.

Monday, February 15

4:45 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 7200 block of 20th Street on a report of a snake in an oven. The caller said they were afraid there might be more snakes in the oven.

Tuesday, February 16

1:15 a.m.: Greeley police were called to the hospital on the 1800 block of 16th Street on a report of a man who thought a police officer was trying to kill him. The caller admitted he was “tripping.”

Wednesday, February 17

1 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2700 block of 20th Street on a report of a man talking about killing his computer. He kept asking people if it was a felony in Greeley to kill a computer. The man said he was going to shoot it.

5:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a library on the 900 block of 7th Street on a report of 30 people standing outside the library and creating an intimidating environment for patrons.

Thursday, February 18

4 a.m.: Greeley police received a call from a Windsor man who hears voices sometimes and heard a voice from a car tell him two boys were raped and murdered. The caller said he decided to call Greeley to see if anything like that had happened that night since Greeley has such a high population of sex offenders.

1:30 a.m.: Greeley police were called to the 4400 block of Pioneer Drive on a report a concerned man, worried about the absence of squirrels.