Need some entertainment for the day? Check out some of the interesting calls that the Greeley-Evans Police responded to between November 15 and November 19, 2015. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Sunday, November 15

11:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to 15th Avenue and 25th Street for a report of one boy throwing snowballs at another boy who had climbed high up in a tree.

Monday, November 16

8:45 a.m.: Greeley police were called to the 2600 block of 15th Avenue Court for a report of a fuzzy television. Officers did not respond to the scene because they are not electricians.

9:30 a.m.: Greeley police were called to respond to 2nd Street because a woman wanted to ensure she had created a safe environment for her son who “just got home last night.” When Weld County dispatchers asked why the son needed to be protected, the woman responded, “just have an officer call me because this is clearly not going anywhere.”

12:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1800 block of 74th Avenue Court for a report of a woman who received a phone call with an area code listed to “Palestinian territories.” The woman wanted to file a report considering what had happened in Paris.

1:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 500 block of 13th Avenue for a report of two “darker skinned men with their faces covered and carrying clipboards.” The caller was concerned about the men because of recent ISIS threats, adding “he is an armed citizen who flies the red, white and blue, and is dressed in tactical gear in his front yard.” The caller thought the men might be writing down good targets for future attacks.

4:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1800 block of 11th Avenue for a report of a landlord who believed a past tenant planted bacteria in her car and apartment because she recently contracted worms.

6:30 p.m.: Greeley police were called to 27th Avenue Court for a report of an 11-year-old girl who has an issue with theft. The girl’s parents wanted officers to respond to explain the consequences of stealing because therapy wasn’t working.

Tuesday, November 17

10:45 a.m.: Greeley police responded to a shipping store in the 3600 block of 10th Street for a report of an odor coming from a package. A store employee said a customer spent a lot of money to ship a stuffed animal and wondered if the odor was attempting to cover up something illegal inside.

1 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1900 block of 30th Street for a report of a man waving his hand. The caller thought the man might need medical attention. Police searched the area before learning the caller saw the man the night before.

Wednesday, November 18

3 p.m.: Greeley police were called to the 1000 block of 9th Street by a man requesting he be taken to detox. The man told dispatchers police would know who he was and that he’d be waiting on his front porch.

7 p.m.: Greeley police were called to respond to the 2500 block of 28th Avenue for a report of two raccoons stuck in a resident’s lattice fence. The caller was worried the raccoons might harm his dog, but dispatchers told him police officers do not respond to wildlife calls. The man called back minutes later to tell dispatchers that his dog scared the raccoons off.

7:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a grocery store in the 400 block of 8th Avenue for a report of a dispute over the price of batteries. The customer was angry with the store clerk because she would not override the cost.

8 p.m.: Greeley police were called to the 2400 block of Bearwood Avenue to settle a domestic dispute. A man and his wife were splitting up and deciding who got which possessions. The man wanted police to decide who should get the pickup.

Thursday, November 19

9:45 a.m.: Greeley police responded to 10th Street and Promontory Circle for a report of a Colorado State Patrol cruiser parked on the lawn.

4 p.m.: Greeley police responded to 7th Street and 9th Avenue for a report of a man and a woman doing inappropriate things to each other at the bus stop. Officers responded and decided to inform the man and woman’s respective probation officers about their graphic public display of affection.