A walk of Safety? Really?

How in the world did that happen?

Dude. I'm not a professional football player (although I feel like it's still an option on the table) but I have watched a lot and I've played Madden A LOT so I feel qualified to heckle the Cincinnati Bengals. Plus, man, Cincinnati is such an awkward word to spell. Where DO the two n's REALLY go? No one really knows. It's one of those never to be solved mysteries. Also, how many tigers are living in the jungles of Ohio? Probably quite a few.

If you didn't hear/watch the Thursday Night Football game last night due to your tricking and/or treating, The Bengals lost to the Miami Dolphins...I mean...that's bad enough right there. I could end the post there. I'm not going to though. They lost by way of a safety. A safety in overtime. What the what?

I didn't do the research to find out how many times that's happened in the past but I wouldn't think it's more than zero-ish.

It brings me to a larger point - if you have stupid uniforms you will not win a championship. Ever. Not once. Specifically, if you wear aqua or teal. Doomed. I don't want to hear about the Don Shula led Dolphins because that happened a week after the Revolutionary War. Thomas Jefferson was in the owners box for that game. Not since then has a team with silly uniforms won a championship. You can't feel like a bad mamma jamma if you're wearing skin tight teal.

Try it.


Plus, while Dolphins brains, their ability to understand our language and their almost certain alien origin is super creepy, they're not tough. Bengal tigers, on the other hand ARE tough. If you ARE a Bengal tiger you should be wicked irritated by the Cincinnati Bengals besmirching your reputation. The other animals are going to stop fearing you if this keeps up. Then what?

So, what I'm saying is, if you are a tiger you should rise up and do something about the team with your name losing via a safety in overtime. On a side note, way to use the internet and read, tigers. Your species has come a long way. Don't let Andy Dalton ruin that.

It's up to you, tigers.