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There Seems to Be an Alligator on the Loose in Greeley

Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

Once a week my hometown newspaper, the Greeley Tribune, puts together what they call their Crime Log. Basically they find the weirdest sh** that the cops encountered, and believe me there is a lot in the town over the previous week. This week, there seems to be a large lizard on the loose in a Greeley park. 

Most weeks when I write about something in the Crime Log I give the person who called the cops the benefit of the doubt that they are drunk, high, or legitimately crazy. However, this week there are not only multiple reports of a gator in Glenmere Park, but one lady even makes sure to tell the cops she isn’t crazy… I am taking her word for it!

July 25th, 4:45 p.m.: A woman at Glenmere Park reported someone had released a 4-foot alligator in some water by the playground. An officer could not find an alligator. The officer called the woman, who said she is not crazy and she definitely saw an alligator.

July 27, 10:30 a.m.: A caller at Glenmere Park reported an at-large alligator.

This is intriguing to me! It’s almost like we have our own Loch Ness Monster right in Greeley. I seriously want to go get my lines set with rotten chicken, like they do on “Swap People,” and catch that sucker! Not to kill him, but to keep him in my backyard as a pet… How many people can say they have an alligator, especially one they caught themselves!

The rest of the Crime Log was epic this week too. It includes a guy pooping in a bar and someone who called the cops because he heard a goat. Check it all out here.

NEXT: The Most Redneck Scene Ever Took Place in Greeley

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