Picture it:  A bright, round sun smiles down on a group of Colorado school heads while they enjoy a sack lunch outside, next to a big, nicely landscaped bush; when one of them shoots off, "You might think I'm nuts, but I think we need to pick a school mascot."  Suddenly, everyone's going "Hmmmmmmmm."  Realizing mascots and team names are usually decided according to an animal common to the area where you lay your head at night, they quickly concluded that bulls, cows, steers, heifers, and even black angi are all taken somewhere (feel free to fact check that, because I didn't.  But just go with me on this.)  Everyone was starting to feel blue, as they gazed off toward the bike rack, imagining their school being exposed to the world with no true identity.  As the district head sipped from his cup, suddenly his eyeballs popped wide open.  "I think I might have it!  How about:  The Rocky Mountain Oysters!!!"

Second grade teacher's aide Mrs. Ball frowned.  "Now Mr. Scratch. That's just reaching for the low-hanging fruit."  But they had to get on with their busy days in preparation for a big, community cookout happening that night.  And no one ever asked another question about the team name for Carbondale's Rocky Mountain High School.

Okay, okay, that's just one version of the story.  But it's true that Colorado Rocky Mountain High School is home to the Oysters.  How proud would you be of your child if they were the highest-scoring Rocky Mountain Oyster on their team?  After all, winning is winning, right?!

Hey, Northern Colorado isn't exactly immune to comical team and mascot names, either.  How about the

  • Lyons Lions
  • Fort Collins High Lambskins (because, what's a lambskin?)
  • Rocky Ford Meloneers
  • Brush Beetdiggers - or perhaps my favorite,
  • The Eaton Beavers.

Oh, well.  Whatever team you play for, suit up, grab your gear, play hard, and celebrate afterwards.